ARE U SANE,
OR NUTS?
Quick! Flip open any magazine. What do you find? More likely than not, you will see a pop quiz to find out stuff like, 'Are you tough or not?'Are you a good friend or not?' 'Are you a man's woman, or a woman's man?' 'Are you a man or a woman?' So we thought we'd jump onto the gravy train, and see if we could earn a few rupees, and oodles of reputation by concocting our very own 'scientifically framed' questionnaire that tells you 'Are you sane or nuts?'
1. Do you generally walk on your
a. head
b. hands
c. nose
d. feet
2. You speak only when
a. spoken to
b. shoved away
c. you're hungry
d. no one is present
3. You never cry unless
a. you're sad
b. you can't find a toilet
c. you're happy
d. you have an audience
4.You like to eat
a. all day long
b. three square meals a day
c. twice a week
d. if someone feeds you
5. Your favourite reading is
a. anything written backwards-barring Arabic languages which are to be read forwards
b. railway timetables
c. labels on cans
d. every sentence written in every encyclopedia ever
6. Your favourite clothes are
a. your mother's if you are a man
b. your grandmother's if you are a teen-aged boy
c. your maid's
d. your own
7. Your dream home would be
a. made of quicksand
b. under the sea
c. on top of the statue of liberty
d. made of gingerbread
8. You love spending money on
a. yourself and family
b. your enemies
c. your pet cockroach
d. your neighbour's phone bills
9. You heartily wish to spend happy hours in
a. an asylum
b. your dog's kennel
c. an airtight, padded room
d. behind the large cupboard in your mother's room
10. You are happiest when
a. singing in the dark
b. sitting on graves
c. brooding in the toilet
d. walking backwards
Now mark yourself plus ten for every answer that tallies with ours, and minus ten for every answer that doesn't tally with ours.
These are the right answers.
Questions 5,7,9,10 are trick questions- all answers are right
1-c
2-b
3-b
4-d
5-a
6-a and b are correct
8-d
50-60 - you are reasonably sane
70-80 - you are vibrantly sane
80-90 - you are high up on the sanity scale, and could assist psychologists
90-100 - congrats! you are the only sane person alive. How do you put up with all the crazies around you?!
If your scores exceed 50 in the minus scale, it is time you visited your friendly neighbourhood shrink.
If you are above -90, chances are, you already are,
Quick! Flip open any magazine. What do you find? More likely than not, you will see a pop quiz to find out stuff like, 'Are you tough or not?'Are you a good friend or not?' 'Are you a man's woman, or a woman's man?' 'Are you a man or a woman?' So we thought we'd jump onto the gravy train, and see if we could earn a few rupees, and oodles of reputation by concocting our very own 'scientifically framed' questionnaire that tells you 'Are you sane or nuts?'
1. Do you generally walk on your
a. head
b. hands
c. nose
d. feet
2. You speak only when
a. spoken to
b. shoved away
c. you're hungry
d. no one is present
3. You never cry unless
a. you're sad
b. you can't find a toilet
c. you're happy
d. you have an audience
4.You like to eat
a. all day long
b. three square meals a day
c. twice a week
d. if someone feeds you
5. Your favourite reading is
a. anything written backwards-barring Arabic languages which are to be read forwards
b. railway timetables
c. labels on cans
d. every sentence written in every encyclopedia ever
6. Your favourite clothes are
a. your mother's if you are a man
b. your grandmother's if you are a teen-aged boy
c. your maid's
d. your own
7. Your dream home would be
a. made of quicksand
b. under the sea
c. on top of the statue of liberty
d. made of gingerbread
8. You love spending money on
a. yourself and family
b. your enemies
c. your pet cockroach
d. your neighbour's phone bills
9. You heartily wish to spend happy hours in
a. an asylum
b. your dog's kennel
c. an airtight, padded room
d. behind the large cupboard in your mother's room
10. You are happiest when
a. singing in the dark
b. sitting on graves
c. brooding in the toilet
d. walking backwards
Now mark yourself plus ten for every answer that tallies with ours, and minus ten for every answer that doesn't tally with ours.
These are the right answers.
Questions 5,7,9,10 are trick questions- all answers are right
1-c
2-b
3-b
4-d
5-a
6-a and b are correct
8-d
50-60 - you are reasonably sane
70-80 - you are vibrantly sane
80-90 - you are high up on the sanity scale, and could assist psychologists
90-100 - congrats! you are the only sane person alive. How do you put up with all the crazies around you?!
If your scores exceed 50 in the minus scale, it is time you visited your friendly neighbourhood shrink.
If you are above -90, chances are, you already are,
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